2023 in review
favorite reads, things, and ideas
I was out with a friend last weekend and asked her when she thought her last good year was. Collectively and globally it feels like it’s all gone to shit, at the very minimum since 2020.
So this won’t be a newsletter of any major life lessons learned. Neither will it be one of resolutions made. Because while for some this may be the most wonderful time of the year, for many (many^n) others, it is anything but.
Instead, this will be a list of things that added a bit of buoyancy to the density of the year - some reads, some things, some ideas.
And somehow, someway that’ll close out the newsletter for the year!! (??!) Insert clicheism about time flying!
Reads
I read a lot this year! Or compared to prior versions of me, a lot. At time of writing this - I consumed 51 books. Cool! The number truly doesn’t matter. I was just happy to read for the sake and process of reading itself.
Out of those reads, here were my favorites.
Fiction
The Guncle
Lessons in Chemistry
Thursday Murder Club
Now is Not the time to Panic
The Personal Librarian
Beasts of a Little Land
Book Lovers
Night Crawling
Maame
Hello Beautiful
Death Valley
Mad Honey
Rebecca
Chain Gang Allstars
Demon Copperhead
Non-fiction
Enchantment
Stolen Focus
The Woman in Me
The Courage to be Disliked
Little book of Hygge
Things
You don’t need any of these things. I repeat, you really don’t! If you’re in a place of high emotion (grief, joy, sadness, elation, anger - honestly anything), close the computer and take a pause.
Full disclosure - none of the below are sponsored or gifted. Though some of the links are affiliate links.
smells
My random hyper-fixation of the year was trying to find perfumes I enjoyed. Finding a signature scent if you will.
I ended up loving Stag by The Maker, partly because of the scent, partly because of the story. I went to Hudson, NY earlier this year and loved it. I was joined by my two best friends from PA school. We strolled around and ate ice cream and made candles and drank coffee and window shopped and had such an amazing time. On our last morning, we had brunch at The Maker hotel. As we were about to leave, I was browsing their perfumes and stumbled upon Stag. I loved it. It was grounding and anchoring with a rich, woody scent that combines agarwood, Palo Santo, and leather. This is probably my most used scent over the course of the year.
I also like Salt for summer, and the Dedcool Taunt is a lovely soft vanilla smell. Combining Taunt with Stag adds a bit of softness and femininity to it.
When I got my bonus this year, I also splurged on Byredo Gypsy Water. I (unfortunately) love it, though it absolutely is quite expensive and not a need.
But those are my current favorite perfumes (for literally no one who asked).
Speaking of smells, without doubt or question, my favorite candle of the year is Keap BK’s Wood Cabin candle. It is just sensational. And I love the mission behind the company. They’re zero waste with re-usable tumbles. The candles are all-natural and use a coconut wax.
sounds
I purchased noise cancelling headphones this year, and sometimes being soundless was just as much of a gift as hearing a variety of different playlists, podcasts, and audiobooks. After much research, I ended up going with the Sony WH-1000XM4 and I really love them. I purchased them refurbished, so they came to less than half of what the Apple Air Pod Max’s would be. And they’re much more comfortable in my opinion.
My Spotify wrapped includes all of the expected players: Noah Kahn (Stick Season on repeat), Novo Amor (reading music), and Olivia Rodrigo (LOL I am 31 going on 13).
If I had to choose my favorite album, it’d probably be Rita Ora’s ‘You & I’ (jam after jam, zero skips). And for new artists, I just love Gryff, Jensen McRae, and Renee Rapp.
In terms of podcasts, I fell in love with Ride. It’s hosted by comedians Benito Skinner and Marybeth Barone. It is somehow simultaneously both the smartest and dumbest thing I’ve ever listened to. It’s like a warm blanket right out of the dryer for the ears, sprinkled with randomness and chaos and 90s inner child hilarity.
tastes
Alison Romans’ Anchovy-Butter chicken may have been the best thing I made. I was actually blown away. I’ve told friends and family about it and they too are shocked by how simple yet delicious it is. If I had it my way, I’d eat this every night of the week.
For Boston restaurant reviews, my most frequented included some tried and true favorites (Pammy’s, Metropolis, Oleana, Sarma, Dear Annie Bar, Bow Market, Cafe Sushi) and some new spots (Contessa, Waverly, Faccia). I still have Giulia and Bar Vlaha on my list, and am excited to try those!
sights
I was absolutely blessed with the gift of travel this year.
Both near and far, I explored.
Mike and I rested and spa’ed in Woodstock Inn in January.
I danced in Tulum, Mexico for my dear friend’s 30th birthday in February.
I skied at Sunday River with my family in March.
I explored Hudson, NY with my PA school friends in April.
I hiked in Joshua Tree with Mike in April for my birthday.
I relaxed at my parents Cape house during weekends over the summer.
I celebrated in St. Barth’s for my best friend from college’s wedding in June.
I felt restored in Woodstock for Mike’s birthday in September.
I drove to Brooklyn, NY to watch Mike’s sister in the marathon in November.
I flew to Brazil for work in November!!!!
I moved to Charlestown in December :)
Get ready for a major eye roll. Like it’s sickening even typing!!!
My favorite sight is seeing Red and Mike on the couch right next to me. I was so nervous about this move because I’m stubborn, have my own routine, and am so fiercely tied to my independence that I wasn’t sure how things would go when combining households. And yet it has been so wonderful. To have a daily walking companion, to talk about our future, and to feel like our conversations are just ongoing, rather than the start/stop that comes with living in separate places.
With the above mentioned travel, I suspect the main question on everyone’s mind is how the hell did I get so much time off from work?? And to that I say - fair! I didn’t realize how much travel I did until typing it out month-by-month.
Some of these were weekend trips (Cape Cod, Hudson, Woodstock, Brooklyn). Others were trips Friday-Monday with just a few days off (Tulum, Joshua Tree). And others were longer trips (St. Barth’s!!)
And furthermore, I took JOY in taking all of my PTO. Literally all of it! I genuinely made it a goal to take every hour of time off that I had allotted to me.
I’ll be sharing a post about salary transparency in January for Quench subscribers, though a huge reason I waited so long for my particular job is that I have amazing benefits. While I may not get paid the highest salary, my allotted time-off rivals most of my friends who work in medicine.
feels
This marks newsletter number 32. 32!!! (I turn 32 next year. Why did this make me cry?? Why am I so desperate to ascribe symbolism and extended metaphors to everything???)
I was a writing minor in college, though fell out of love with writing because I felt like I lost the attention span for it. I was too tired or too distracted, and the algorithm sort of confirmed this limiting belief. Social media is a space of sped up and fast and more. Slow content, photos, and long captions no longer ‘performs’ as well.
And writing is a place of often aimless and wandering juicy slowness, finding your way as you go, rather than simply arriving.
It was a challenge to myself to expand my attention again, which often feels fragmented and fractured as a result of how I spend my days (in medicine and on social media).
I deliberated on it a bit, but rather than overthinking, I just started writing. I wasn’t quite sure how it’d go or if I’d be consistent with it. (Sometimes I think it’s better to not think or deliberate too much on something. To just do it before it gets scary.)
And it was the most fulfilling goal I set for myself. To be held accountable and to be proud of something I’ve created (I don’t often say this as it makes every cell in my body cringe). I’ve felt a little lost in the social media space for some time, and this newsletter allowed me to find my way again.
These newsletters are imperfect. They’re long and windy. They have run-on sentences. They have misprints and typos and are often poorly punctuated. They are so very human. Because that is me and that is life. The newsletter doesn’t hold me to perfection, though instead is a lesson of un-doing some long held beliefs about perfectionism. A letting go by messing up. A challenge to hit send even if it’s not perfectly polished.
Ideas
The whole newsletter is sort of my own exploration of happiness vs fulfillment, and if happiness can exist in medicine when the system itself is draining and…fucked.. for lack of a better word. It started with the first 11 episodes which were rooted in soft 70.
After doing a lot of my own soul searching, I think the idea and definition of happiness that’s sold in marketing and mainstream media is unrealistic and a moving target. And one that doesn’t resonate in public health fields (medicine, teaching, parenthood, etc), ie to always feel content and blissful and calm and put together.
After listening to The Courage to Be Disliked by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishim, I’m trying to subscribe more to the idea of happiness as contribution and connection. And not having the belief that I have to be in a constant state of bliss in order to be cumulatively happy.
Because a lot of things that made me feel very unhappy in the moment ended up providing enormous perspective later on. You just never know if what is happening in the moment will end up making you feel different later. (**reads one self help book**)
I wish I could say this was the year I learned to entirely live in the moment, not so tied to work and productivity (spoiler alert: this is still a work in progress). But I’m getting more comfortable with the idea that it’s unrealistic to think everything on a to-do list can be accomplished in a day. Maybe my goal this year is to have fun and do less. Like much, much less.
I have some big long term goals that feel entirely out of reach right now, though that’s just because they’ll take some time. And I have to be okay with leaning in to the slow and present, or risk missing the whole process of arriving at the thing.
And on that note, here’s my current Ins/Outs list for 2024. This too will probably change, but these things feel like a good place to start.
(are ins/outs lists out?? don’t answer that)
In
prioritizing professional development
spending time with coworkers outside of work
nervous system regulation
systems based perspective and approach
wearing more color
taking all of my PTO
defining happiness as connection and contribution
keeping social media restrictions
fun
spending more time with my grandparents (see above photo)
prioritizing what’s important vs what feels urgent
a consistent meditation practice
glamorizing rest and monotasking
being adequately hydrated
Out
coffee and alcohol on an empty stomach
comparison to others on social media
mindless scrolling
defining happiness (unrealistically) as endless bliss
the idea that health and wellbeing is simple and up to the individual
urgency and busy culture
Sunday scaries
the perfectionist need to finish a to do list
frivolous spending
glamorizing rushing and multitasking
I hope the rest of this season is restful and restorative. Thank you (thank you^n) for being here.
Take so much care,
Katie