The launch of Soft 70

10 weeks to build a habit of happiness

Every weekend in PA school, I’d stumble over to the library with an impossibly heavy backpack and meals packed for the day. I’d meet friends from class and we’d spend the day studying, drinking coffee, eating sandwiches made from a nearby cafe.

When I look back, it’s filled with charm and splendor. I miss it in a way - hunkering down and committing to a day of studying.

(text between me and my dear friend from PA school just this past weekend)

And then I think back to the reality of it, and quite frankly - it was hell. No free time, spending every waking moment cramming and stressing and studying, drinking so much caffeine I was experiencing palpitations, barely/rarely seeing friends and family, having my entire identity wrapped up in PA school.

It’s fascinating to me that my brain somehow adds rosiness to the grey period that was PA school. Post-PA school life is infinitely better. INFINITELY! Though the identity piece is still largely wrapped up in work. In PA school, and in medicine in general, there is sometimes this pseudo-addiction to working, and/or the romanticization of it.

This cycle no doubt starts far before schooling. In order to get accepted to a rigorous Master’s and/or medical program, you aim to crowd your resume with impressive things. Once in school, you’re working through the day and night for exams, you take the exam, do well (for the most part), feel elated, then start the process over again. This cyclical nature of working hard, barely resting, feeling some semblance of success, getting hooked on that high, getting your identity wrapped up in it, then doing it all over again is mirrored in medicine, though takes a slightly different form. If you’re efficient, you see more patients, you have more inbox work, you complete it because it’s like a compulsion to do so, and the cycle continues. More efficiency, more work. More more more. Never enough.

And I’ve arrived at a crossroads of acceptance that what has allowed for some success in my professional life has been pretty maladaptive in my personal life.

I’m embarking on something called a Soft 70, a twist on the popularized 75 Hard. For the next 10 weeks, I’ll aim to do 5 things a day to cultivate calm, pleasure, and happiness. The goal is to make this an active practice, rather than just hoping it will passively diffuse through my nervous system.

full downloadable link/pdf at the bottom of this newsletter

(Thank you Taylor Moser for this amazing graphic!!)

Since it takes about 60-70 days to build a habit, I’m giving this a try for the next 2.5 months. Within this journey, I’ll also be sharing podcasts episodes, books, and interviews with inspiring people who have maintained their serene and silly spirits despite making a career of fulfilling though heavy work.

While I absolutely believe you can start building a new habit at any time, this happens to fall on a Monday at the beginning of a new month. So I’ll officially be starting this on May 1st.

I have a tendency to do too much too quick, to rush through something just for the sake of having it done. I’ll be using this newsletter as my own personal journal to document this journey. (I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to already being incredibly nervous about this process. The ‘what have you signed up for??? A weekly newsletter?? Every week?? What do you even have to say??’ thoughts have started to slowly roll in.)

I’m taking pressure off of myself to have any expectations about this process because for things to be sustainable they typically happen slowly. I don’t anticipate any major revelations after one, two, or maybe even ten weeks; I’m trying to dissolve the Amazon prime expectation that everything happens immediately with next day delivery. I’m just someone working full time trying to make life a little more enjoyable amidst the broken healthcare system.

Here are some things I did this week that I found to be helpful:

I had a chat with my medical director in absolute awe that she has maintained such a joyous spirit despite doing this work for over 20 years. She wears the most ridiculous socks daily, speaks 3+ languages, loves her patients like family, fights fiercely to protect providers in the clinic, and is always laughing. Like a high pitched cackle that echoes across the clinic.

'“HOW are you so happy when all we see is sadness and suffering all day??", I asked earlier this week.

“Oh that gets better,” she muses. “In the beginning you’re meeting everyone for the first time and getting to know their story. When they get to know you and trust you, it gets easier.”

Reason number 500 why I have no interest in quitting my job. Family medicine is all about the long game. The more you know people and build relationships with them, the easier their care is because you know all of the different data points within their individual spectrum of health. You know the history, feel rooted in the present, and therefore less afraid of the future. These longstanding relationships within primary care are so important and I’m not afraid to grow roots and commit to this work.

My medical director is the definition of a long-haul hero - committed to making her local and global community better. She’s dedicated to her patients and staff unlike any leader I’ve ever known.

I’m reminded of a wonderful episode of ‘The Happiness Lab’ podcast with Dr. Laurie Santos titled “You Only Live Once…So Commit!” (found anywhere you get podcasts or on YouTube). In it, Dr. Santos interviews a variety of different people, one of which is Pete Davis who wrote “Dedicated: The Case for Commitment in an Age of Infinite Browsing.” Davis details individuals who are committed to places, professions, and causes for the sake of deep fulfillment and true dedication. This really spoke to me, and I’d highly recommend the episode.

Speaking of this podcast, this and last week’s episodes of ‘The Happiness Lab’ are all about “Joyfully Awakening Your Senses.” I thought it was a lovely reminder that mindfulness and meditation don’t have to be sitting in silence. They can be an active practice to energize and awaken all of the senses.

Here are some things that are exciting my senses lately.

• sights: I’ve started going on “awe walk” (sounds like: a walk) and practicing awe of what’s going on around me. The trees and flowers this time of year are skyrocketing my presence and happiness levels. You can also check out this list of feel good films that you all provided me with earlier this week.

• sounds: I put together a happy, bouncy playlist for you all!! Linked here.

• smells: I made a candle when in Hudson, NY combining the smells of sandalwood, leather, and lavender. It is divine. Sadly I don’t think I’ll be able to recreate it so I am absolutely savoring it every time it’s lit. I also recently bought a new perfume which smells so warm and springy. It’s called ‘Taunt’ from DedCool, and has notes of Bergamot, Vanilla, and Amber. I’m not typically a huge vanilla fan in scents, but I’m really loving this one.

• taste: If you’re in the Boston area, the browned butter chocolate chip cookie from La Saison in Cambridge is a must. I also recently made this caramelized shallot pasta dish from Alison Roman and it was lovely!

• touch/feel: I am *SO* in my feels from the outpouring of support for my humble little newsletter. THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING HERE!

In humility and hopeful happiness,

Katie

Mentioned in this newsletter:

• ‘The Happiness Lab’ podcast with Dr. Laurie Santos titled “You Only Live Once…So Commit!” (found anywhere you get podcasts or on YouTube here)

• ‘The Happiness Lab’ podcast with Dr. Laurie Santos titled ‘Sight and Sound : How to Joyfully Awaken Your Senses’ and ‘Smell, Taste and Touch: How to Joyfully Awaken Your Senses’ (found anywhere you get podcasts)

• Speaking of Dr. Laurie Santos, you can take her course that she teaches at Yale! It’s called The Science of Wellbeing and is 10 weeks long. Entirely free! May be a nice supplement to Soft 70 if you’re feeling ready for some extra support!

• Dedicated: The Case for Commitment an Age of Infinite Browsing, Pete Davis

• Taunt by DedCool perfume

• New playlist

• List of feel good films/TV shows

• Soft Seventy graphic, downloadable in PDF format below

Soft Seventy X Tol

507KB ∙ PDF file

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