on hunger

examining appetite changes through the lens of curiosity and compassion

When writing this, it’s about an hour after I had lunch. It was a pretty complete meal with all the usual suspects - protein, fiber/complex carbohydrates, and healthy fats. And also a meal that tasted good with a variety of different textures and flavor profiles.

This is typically satisfactory, keeping me full and not thinking about food for the next few hours.

And yet…

I’m perseverating on the box of homemade cookies downstairs. I’m even feeling slight rumblings in my stomach that feel akin to hunger pangs. I know *rationally* I shouldn’t be hunger. And yet those cookies are entirely enticing.

After years of practicing intuitive eating, I pass no judgement on these happenings. Though they do inspire a bit of curiosity.

When taking a pause to think about it, I realized I felt this way prior to the retreat as well. Regardless of what I was eating, I was getting hungry shortly after meals.

And yet while on the retreat, the hunger sensations returned to regularly scheduled programing, often in alignment with when I’d expect them to arrive.

I think hunger, in general, is a fascinating topic, and one that I often talk about in my clinical practice.

So often, largely due to the multi-billion dollar diet industry (and mixed messaging in medicine), there is conditioning that hunger and appetite are bad. They should be lessened or suppressed.

Though hunger is an incredibly important vital sign. If ignored, hunger signals are eventually heard, often resulting in fast, mindless, and compensatory eating. And sometimes feeling a loss of control around food when eating.

In this post, I’m exploring some reasons why I may have felt these shifts in hunger, alongside all the different layers of hunger. When turning towards this physical and emotional sensation, rather than running away from, I can often make different choices for self-nourishment and comfort.

Mentioned in this post:

• what are you so angry about? trying (and failing) to manage rage in healthcare

• I went on a retreat with 23 other women. It was terrifying and I loved it and I want to do it all over again

• my journey with intuitive eating: healing my relationship with food and movement

• get hygge with it: cozying up to the cold

Hunger is one of the most important vital signs or data points we have. It’s an indication that metabolism is working properly, and an opportunity to take note of what the physical body is seeking. It’s influenced by a variety of different factors, a big part of which is environment.

So instead of just listing what’s been different with me as an individual, perhaps it’s first a good exercise to compare my environment before leaving for the retreat to that of during the retreat. By first zooming out and viewing the environment, I have more compassion and understanding as to why these shifts occurred in the first place.

Environment at home

• Busy - there never seems to be enough time during the day to complete what I’d like to accomplish. Between patients, completing all of the CNS requirements, house troubles, the holidays, and plans for egg freezing, it’s been challenging to slow down and mono-task on any single topic, especially that of meal times.

• Cluttered - because my mind has been busy, I haven’t been as diligent about picking up around the house. I’ve never functioned super well when I don’t have time to clean my space. Red’s hair is seemingly everywhere. That, in combination with a new rug that’s shedding an exorbitant amount, is making it feel like there’s a film of dust on every surface.