may, 2025 recap
on finding a rest formula, celebrating friends and family, and trying a new bakery
This month witnessed the most travel I’ve had within the last few years. It started in Brooklyn, visiting Mike’s sister and her partner with his dad and uncle. Then I had a week at home, followed by a weekend in Minnesota visiting a friend from high school to get to know her three children (!!). And the next weekend was spent driving to Erie, Pennsylvania for my cousin’s wedding, then a hop over to upstate NY to celebrate Mike’s sisters graduation.
Historically, I don’t do well with so much socializing packed into a concentrated amount of time. And because work is typically stressful, I need time to come down from work itself and also high intensity socializing.
And this was true after one of the trips.
When getting home, I was so exhausted that I took a true mental health day. This is the second time I’ve done this in the last 5 years, and my pointer finger deeply debated hitting delete instead of send when I was preparing the email.
Though it was entirely the right decision, and was incredibly instructive of my own personal burnout formula.
When staying home, closely guarding my personal time and avoiding social situations for fear they’ll end up being more depleting than restoring, I can closely titrate the degree of burnout/exhaustion that I’ll feel. It’s almost like a formula now that I’ve been in this job for the last 5 years.
Though when traveling, especially in environments that aren’t the most conducive to alone time and comfort, I have much less control over this. And during each of these trips, I relinquished a lot of control; I was largely at the whim of others’ itineraries.
In the past, I probably would’ve avoided these trips entirely.
Though after a dinner with Mike recently, I was noting that we’re so lucky to be at this chapter that we have so much to do. To meet our friend’s children, to celebrate them at their weddings, to share a dinner with them, and to travel with extended family. This is a precious, precious gift, that I don’t want to miss out on due to fear of burnout or exhaustion.
So rather than rushing through each of these trips, I took inventory of how I felt upon return. And learned that when doing travel that feels less elective and more family-oriented, I need some time on the back-end to recuperate.
If I can get home on a Sunday morning and have a day or half day to grocery stop, exercise, finish my newsletter, and meal prep, then I feel pretty good about entering into a new week. If I get back late Sunday evening and go right into the week, I feel pretty lousy. In the future, I’ll know to take Monday morning or all of Monday off. Looking into this new year (my work schedule is on a July-July base), I’ll need to plan my travel and PTO allotment accordingly.
The older I get, the less I enjoy rushing from one moment to the next. If travel is involved, I need a little time to download and reset, filling it with the comforts that keep me in momentum.
Given this amount of travel, I thought by the middle of the month I’d feel like a shell, but I felt surprisingly great. In the middle of the month, I had the energy for a closet clean out, and this engendered even more literal and psychological space.
I talk about this in my group visits often in that finding a stress management plan that feels sustainable often has to be personalized. And whenever you do or find something that creates space, energy, calm, clarity or momentum, write it down!
Going through moments of dense stress makes it hard to operationalize or create action around. Though reminding myself that in order to feel rejuvenated, I need ~4 uninterrupted hours, it feels more realistic. (I know this amount of time isn’t accessible to many, especially parents!! So much brava to parents!!!)
I can find true rest in that amount of time, rather than delaying rest and feeling like I’ll only be able to “catch up” if I have extended time off, ie a vacation or days in a row without patients scheduled.
After 2 years of writing this newsletter, this feels like real progress. And like more easeful integration of life and socializing among work. Hoping to hold fast to this mentality, especially as I enter into a new work chapter.
And on that note! On to the mindful monthly recap.
Sights
Books
All Fours - the tone of this was somewhat reminiscent of Big Swiss, and I really enjoyed it. Incredibly bizarre storyline (described as marriage, motherhood, menopause, masturbation and a motel on 4Columns), but the plot line was unlike anything I’d ever read before.
The Wedding People - came highly recommended and I did really enjoy it! Started dark - the protagonist intends to die by suicide in the beginning. Though after a weekend at a wedding with a new couple, the story ends with hope and levity.
The God of the Woods - unpopular opinion but this was a slog and I really disliked the ending. It follows the disappearance of a camper, while telling a parallel story of another camper’s disappearance from a few decades earlier. I wanted to like it and stuck with it, but was eager for it to end.
Experienced - queer romcom that’s quick, fun, and delightfully horny, detailing the story of Bette, the protagonist, navigating a break from her new girlfriend Mei. I definitely wanted to shake the protagonist and encourage therapy the majority of the book, but it was an entertaining read.
Wild Dark Shore - This was the third Charlotte McConaghy book I’ve read and I’m about half way through. Similar to her other novels, it’s ripe with deep reverence for nature. Excited to continue reading this one.
The Lost Bookshop - I really wanted to get into this, and I just couldn’t. I got about 20% of the way through, and then decided to scrap it to try to read Wild Dark Shore before I ran out of time with it on Libby.
A list of my favorite books in their respective categories can be found on Bookshop.org.
TV shows
The Pitt - I liked this so much that I watched the first episode three times. Yes. Three times. The first time I watched alone, the second time with Mike, and the third with my dad, an ER physician and prior chairman of the emergency department. I was curious whether he thought it was accurate depiction of life in the emergency department. His only note of difference - “they aren’t spending as much time on their notes.” LOVED IT, and would highly recommend.
Dying for Sex - Based on the true story of a woman diagnosed with stage IV metastatic breast cancer. This is gritty and griefy and devastating, but so beautiful. And a testament to dying on exactly your own terms. (If you haven’t yet read Briefly, Perfectly Human, written by death doula Alua Arthur, this is a perfect accompaniment to the show).
Overcompensating - I was so eager to watch this as an avid listener of Ride (the writer, director, and protagonist’s podcast along with his co-host Marybeth - also in the show), and it lived up to the hype entirely. It follows Benny through his freshman year of college, struggling to accept his sexuality. Watched it all in one sitting and ready for the rewatch.
Sounds
Giggly Squad - this podcast has been around since 2020, so it’s nothing new. But I am new to it, officially making me a giggler! This is a podcast about friends whose careers are growing, yapping about pop culture and seemingly nothing (my personal favorite genre). It’s hosted by Hanna Berner and Paige Desorbo, and I really enjoy it despite not being an active member of the Bravoverse (they were both on Summer House on Bravo). Love having it on in the background as I’m cooking or cleaning.
Smosh Reads Reddit Stories - Mike drove us from Boston to Pennsylvania to New York and back to Massachusetts. We listened to a few episodes of this, and it was a very entertaining way to pass the time.
Tastes
Vinal General Store - I’ve shared about this place before, but it’s worth another share because it’s just that good. If you’re looking for a deli/diner atmosphere to sit at the bar and enjoy a damn good sandwich, this is the spot.
Verveine Bakery - This is an exclusively gluten free bakery in Cambridge, and I haven’t had a moment to visit since its opening. My mom eats predominantly gluten free, so I went for Mother’s Day to pick up some items for her. I heard it was a bit of a zoo, so I went 30 minutes before opening, and I’m so glad I did. 15 minutes before open, a line started developing. By the time it was open, there were 30+ people in line. The food IS worth the hype (especially the ube brownie and chocolate chip cookie), but go early to avoid the lines!
Smells
What’s immediately coming to mind is the smell of sage from some acupuncture appointments. I went for a few different reasons (anxiety, painful periods, chronic back pain), and was predominantly hoping for a scheduled place that was work, screen, and stress free. I had done a few sessions of acupuncture before, though never committed enough to see longterm benefit. Still new to it, and hoping it has some longterm benefits. I’m going to Kenkodo Clinic in Somerville.
Feels
This month, I went to visit two friends and their growing families. I’ve known both of these friends since high school, and there’s something undeniably magical about being with them through different life seasons. One friend just had her second daughter, and I got to meet baby P at the ripe age of 3 weeks old.
And the second friend has three children and lives out of state. I visited her and her family - 3 year old, 18 month old, and 3 month - for a weekend this month. It was joyfully chaotic and so special to witness my friends take on these new roles in motherhood. And confirmed that freezing my eggs was the right move at this current life juncture.
Separately though relatedly, I got to witness my mom hone a craft that she cherished during childhood. She recently started taking tap classes at a studio in Somerville (Julia on Tap, held at Deborah Mason School for Performing Arts). A few weekends ago, each of the tap classes (all different levels) showcased what they were learning, and I went to watch with my dad and sister. So cute and special!! If you’re in the Boston area and looking to get back into tap, would highly recommend this spot!
And that’s all for May!
Katie
Fellow Giggler here!! And LOVE The Pitt! My coworker and I binged it in a weekend. Happy to hear it’s pretty accurate!
I also finished wedding people this month! Thought it was a 4/5 on goodreads.
I’ve been listening to giggly squad for 1.5 years now and LOVE ending my workday with my Monday commute home with their new episode