I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers

October 2024 recap and recommendations

I am languishing.

It’s past noon, and I’m still in bed, with Vick’s Vapo Rub as my steadfast sidekick resting on the nightstand, tissues scattered like confetti around me.

A gnarly illness has overtaken me, and I’ve finally succumbed.

I’ve worn a mask at work for the last 4+ years, and my immune system is now that of a vulnerable infant. I haven’t really, seriously, been sick in ages, and this. is. brutal.

In moments of illness, or any deviation from the norm, I spend a lot of time feeling grateful despite the cacophony of coughs and symphony of sniffles. For my health, for a spare bedroom so I can keep my germs to myself, for a child-free life so I can focus on taking care of myself for a swift recovery. Even just feeling the soft breeze through the window, circulating new, fresh air into my temporary infirmary, feels like a treasure.

It’s not entirely unsurprising that I’m sick. This month has been quite busy - travel for half of the month’s weekends, big work decisions and changes, settling into our new home, and studying for my upcoming exam. Lots of new without much of the old changing or letting up.

It’s in these moments that I feel much more capable of leaning into resting and recovering, rather than pushing through, as I know that only prolongs illness.

This theme of rest vs recovery was highlighted so beautifully in Kirsten Powers Substack this month, and her words stuck with me.

“In fact, what Americans—and increasingly Brits, Canadians, and Aussies—often call rest is actually recovery.

We will spend the weekend entombed in weighted blankets while binging Netflix and generally trying to gain strength to start the whole grind again on Monday. If we nap, we will tell ourselves that we “earned” it but still feel guilty. Even when we are lonely and desperate to see our friends, it can often feel like too much exertion to go out when energy needs to be conserved for the week ahead.”

OOF. HITS DEEP.

I started with a new therapist this month, and found myself saying that I’m losing interest in all work. I even said to Mike last week that I wish I could just not work.

WHAT?!?

It surprised me when I said it because I’ve always loved working. I’ve found it interesting and purposeful.

But lately, it’s a drag. By the end of the day, I don’t really have the energy to be present in rest because I’m just so tired. Especially with the weather getting darker, I feel my energy dampening.

(or maybe I’m just letting the nasal congestion and body aches cloud my feelings this week)

While taking a break from social media has been lovely, it has resulted in feeling like I’m losing all creativity, which was an incredible plus side to content creation. When posting on a schedule, creativity was a practice. Now that I’m spending time and energy on other things, it’s feeling like my drive and joy for creativity has entirely waned.

The therapist asked if I’d felt that way in the past and indeed I had, when graduating from PA school. The next natural question was what helped me get out of that rut, and my answer was, through a chuckle, “taking a year off.”

The thought of just lying in bed for a prolonged period of time, surrounded by books and blankets, feels so entirely appealing.

Somewhat of a hyperbolic answer, but after PA school, feeling entirely burnt out, and quite depressed, I was haphazardly applying to jobs though not getting any bites. I stopped the job search for awhile, and instead realized I desperately needed a break, and could live on what I was making from social media at the time. It was truly a gift, and allowed me to inch closer back to myself and values, especially with what I wanted from work.

A part of me thought, was PA school even worth it?? Should I just singularly pursue social media and try to use my degree later?

Instead of making any big decisions, I sat on it for about 6 months before realizing I did want to give it a try. This desire became louder when COVID hit, and I was eager to start working as a PA to help.

6 months!!

When living it, this amount of time flew by. I was busy with content creation and job searching. My energy and zest slowly came back, which allowed decision making from my true self, not my tired self. The decision was swift and easy, and the pieces fell into place. I’ve been at that same job for over 4 years now, and I’ve never once regretted it. I love our patients and my coworkers so deeply.

Looking back, I can’t believe I had the option to take this amount of time “off,” or rather to be in a non-traditional work role. It even feels pretty uncomfortable to write about, acknowledging how unrealistic and unrelatable it is.

But I often hear renderings of this sentiment in patient care.

During a staff meeting some time ago, someone described a patient asking for time off of work to clean out their closet. The provider was feeling torn about this, questioning if this was a legitimate reason.

And in my mind I thought, well of course! It has nothing to do with the closet. It’s about this larger feeling of being so bogged down, most of us can’t even conceptualize and vocalize what it would mean or how it would look to take a little time off to tend to the garden of life.

So we hitch our ideas on the wagons of completing some of the tasks that have been on the to-do list for literal years, thinking that, ‘well maybe if I just get that one thing done, that thing that has taken up so much cognitive real estate, I’ll have the motivation or energy to get back to what I was previously doing. Or the bandwidth to think about what it is I really need, what the closet represents, not the actually closet.’

So for now, no cleaning of closets, but staying in beds. And going back to basics. Eating toast, drinking tea, and sleeping. Absolute back to basics rudimentary self-care, which will hopefully create a little space to stay open to possibility.

And going on the gentlest of walks during this stunning month. It’s been a little chilly and crispy, but still mild and warm. The leaves are turning, and it’s just the quintessential New England October, hence the quote from Anne of Green Gables as the title of today’s newsletter.

Before jumping into the recap, and speaking to the above, if anyone has any very non-traditional career deviations, I’d love to hear them!!! I’d actually love to do a whole post about them, so if you’re interested in sharing your story and being interviewed, let me know! ty ly :)

October 2024 Recap and Recommendations

Sights

This month I learned that when requesting a book on Libby, you can request it for 21 days instead of 14!!! This is probably a well known fact. Though as someone who is still easing into their relationship with their Kindle (read: attached at the hip with it. Idk why I was a book purist and resistant for so long), this was something I was previously unaware of.

Books:

(links to Bookshop.org, where I do get some commission with purchases, and additional proceeds go to All She Wrote Books in Somerville, MA)

Blue Sisters: This reminded me of Hello, Beautiful and Little Women because it’s a story centered on four strong-willed sisters. It details how they’re each individually grieving and struggling after a big loss, even when they’re not telling each other about it. I enjoyed the writing style and finished it quickly, though there are some heavy themes and trigger warnings: substance use disorder, overdose, chronic pain, and domestic violence.

The Fury: I reallllly wanted to like this. It was a 3/5 for me. Not a dislike, though not a strong love. I started my journey with Alex Michaelides with The Silent Patient, and I loved it!! Then went on to The Maidens and felt okay about it, followed by The Fury, which is I think my least favorite of the three. Though I do give the author an enormous amount of credit for pumping out this many books in a short amount of time.

Pachinko: My favorite read of this month. And I just realized it’s made into a series on Apple TV!! It follows four generations of Korean women and their families, and the writing is just impeccable. I fell in love and was rooting for all of the women in this historical fiction. I moved slowly through it, savoring the story, and not wanting to rush it. It came out in 2017, though many of the themes are still entirely relevant. I learned so much about the history of Korea and Japan, and I can’t wait to watch the TV show.

The Rom-commers: I read this after Pachinko and was hoping for a quick dopamine hit. I really wanted to like it. And I really didn’t (I always feel bad saying this because I have so much respect for authors and all who support them and am in awe of the writing process). It was highly rated on GoodReads and recommended to me based on some of my other reads. And I found myself just screaming at the main character for letting this bozo famous person absolutely walk all over her.

TV:

The Lincoln Lawyer: Not my typical genre, but a few months ago, I randomly stumbled across this on Netflix and got hooked on it. I flew through the first few seasons, and the new season came out this month. If you’re into courthouse dramas, you may like it.

Love is Blind, Season 7: OKAY WHAT????? Is anyone else watching this?? My entire social media algorithm is centered on Love is Blind and not only am I not complaining, but I’m reveling in it. I found season 1 to be so pure (though it came out during early COVID and I was desperate for any form of connection tbh), though the remaining seasons were hard to believe. But this season??? Netflix came out swinging. Surely, some of the drama could be manufactured by producers and editing, but what a wild ride this is. I truly cannot wait for the reunion this week.

Shrinking: Ahhh new episodes of season 2 are out!!! I went in with high hopes because of how much I loved season 1. And all expectations were exceeded. Only a few episodes out so far, but oh is it so comforting. Laughter, tears, all of the above. Tomato soup and grilled cheese for the soul. Biggest recommend!!!

Sounds

This month I listened to Ina Garten’s memoir called “Be Ready when the Luck Happens” and immediately upon hearing the last page, I restarted the book. I laughed, I cried, and I told everyone I could about it. I’m not going to say the entire thing is relatable, and I do think it’s much easier to be successful and ~*follow your dreams*~ when you have a partner who is financially stable enough to support both parties in the relationship. Though I never knew how plucky and zesty she is!!!

Ina faced physical and emotional abuse and neglect during childhood, and yet came out the other side seemingly still hopeful and not jaded, entirely open to new experiences without judgement, and fully present in her life. I also loved that she didn’t spend an enormous amount of time talking about why she didn’t want children. Sometimes it feels women have to arduously explain themselves in this department. Ina states it as fact and then moves on to the many, many absolutely fascinating chapters of her life. I truly can’t recommend this enough.

In the music department, I’m also loving the “Jazz in the Rain” playlist on Spotify.

Mike and I had someone come over and inspect our chimney with the hopes of being able to start using our fireplace. The good news is that the chimney specialist told us the vibes of the apartment, while playing the above playlist, reminded him of the library.

The bad news is that he deemed our fireplace a hazard and unusable and if we wanted to repair and replace it, it could be $15-20K and even then, given its location, it may not be entirely up to code. HATS OFF TO YOU, HOME OWNERSHIP!!!!! HUZZAH!!

Smells

This month, I had the opportunity to visit the Catskills with some friends for the first time. We stayed at Scribner’s Lodge, and it entirely lived up to the hype. Not just for the gorgeous decor, tasty on-site restaurant, pool, and sauna, but the town it was located in had lots of places to eat, shop, and explore.

from Fred’s coffee and donuts in Tannersville, NY

The leaves just started to turn, and we spent the weekend mostly catching up, and even laying by the pool in bathrobes. The lounge / library area was cozy personified, the soaps smelled divine, the garden was in bloom, and there was a free yoga/pilates class on Saturday morning. If you’re looking for an autumnal getaway, would recommend! (not sponsored or gifted)

When in town, I came across a few candles that captured the essence of the weekend. The brand is Lodestone and I went with After the Rain for my office (amber, vetiver, and foliage) and Forest Hunt for Mike’s (think: redwood trees and leather). Ridiculously expensive but we are savoring them and lighting them sparingly for special occasions!

I’m also back on my palo Santo obsession after walking into Buck Mason in the Prudential Center and loving how it smelled (though also trying to use sparingly and ethically). And I purchased some incense while in the Catskills, which has been so soothing to light and inhale during long Telehealth days.

Tastes

I was away for a few weekends this month - once for a girls getaway, and another to cheer Mike on in his IronMan race. It was a bit of a ‘ugh I didn’t have time to grocery shop this weekend, what can I throw together’ type of month.

What was abundantly helpful was having a fair amount of meat stored in the freezer. Mike and I decided to try Walden Local, which is a meat sharing company in the Boston and New England area. I’m really enjoying so far, and I do think the taste speaks to the quality of the meat, especially the chicken. Though with our current membership, you can’t pick and choose what you get, and the first month was a bit heavy on the beef. That being said, would still recommend if it’s in your price range. (This link gets $100 off your first order - not sponsored/gifted; referral links are provided to all Walden members).

We did manage to head over to Juliet in Somerville for brunch one Sunday morning, and I forgot how much I love it there. I hadn’t been since they opened up their new location (right next to the old location), and the decor inside is so cute. We sat at the bar, and enjoyed coffee and a scone as an appetizer. Service was lovely, and we had a great meal.

Also in Union Square and quickly frequented this month: Bloc (the seasonal brown sugar latte was divine), Buenas empanadas, and the Nutty Cilantro salad from Saus.

Feels

October was the last month I had any travel scheduled in some time. Often when there’s nothing planned on the horizon, I start to feel a little itchy. So instead, I’m going to think of weekends at home as travel. An opportunity to curate our home to capture the feeling of traveling somewhere new - full of grounded whimsy and comfort.

We did end up deciding on paint colors - Gentle Cream for the living room, and Mannequin Cream for the kitchen and dining room. On the website, they look nearly identical. On the wall, they look entirely different.

This small decision took almost two months to lock in.

I got home from work this week and Mike had surprised me by painting the entirety of the living room (an angel!!!). When looking at the slightly darker shade of cream on the wall with our old couch, which is white, I loved it!

But then the new couch came in the next day (we went with the Metro Sectional from Room and Board in color Sumner camel), and I started questioning if the paint color was too dark with the darker colored couch.

This is, of course, another byproduct of work - feeling decision fatigue from a day full of decision making, and then faced with a wave of indecision for most non-work related topics.

And wanting everything to be *perfect* the first time around.

The reality is, it’s really challenging to choose anything for a home, especially when options are endless and trying to make long-lasting decisions while staying in budget.

I spent the following days furiously and feverishly scrolling through Pinterest trying to find an *exact* replica of our current living room colors to recreate, and I came up entirely blank.

But I do think we’ll end up painting the living room a lighter color to brighten up the space (LOL). Or maybe not??? Maybe we’ll just be in paint limbo forever??

Anyways! On to November!

Hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday.

Big love,

Katie